Tied to the Wind
by metallicgreen
Summary: "N is happy for memories like this that prove he was more than just some jerk who got in Touya's way." Following the battle at N's castle, Touya's actions cause N to travel the world in search for him to confront their odd relationship. Isshushipping
1. Touya

Pairing: N x Black/Touya/Hilbert

Summary: "N is happy for memories like this that prove he was more than just some jerk who got in Touya's way." Following the decisive battle at N's castle, Touya's actions cause N to travel the world in search for him to confront their odd relationship. N x Black/Touya/ Hilbert.

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><p>In the few seconds it took Touya's final attack to knock out his last Pokemon, N knew that he had become the villain. He could not pinpoint the exact moment the switch occurred, or perhaps N had always played the antagonist to Touya's hero.<p>

It is an odd thought, but almost comforting, really. The daunting, yet righteous task of changing a static world for the better no longer belongs to him, he sees.

N's knees bend, and suddenly he's on the floor, defeated. Touya, wonderful, heroic, dignified Touya, examines his Pokemon, a slight frown scarring his noble face. Noble, noble, noble Touya. His shoulders neither show any sigh of nor bend under the weight upon them.

N's Castle, like N himself, is not noble. It cracks and bends, pieces of the floor beginning to disintegrate. N laughs, because this is perfect. If he is to be made a villain, he will be an irredeemable one, a stubborn one. He will stay here and allow his crumbing castle to consume him, a captain sinking with his ship and ideals.

History will not bother to write his name down, but perhaps noble Touya will one day awake from his noble slumber wide eyed, sweating as the last traces of N's final moments chase him into consciousness.

Despite himself, a smile creeps up on N. He remembers a conversation with Touya from his past, when N was still noble and that which opposed him wasn't.

_"Many different values mix together, and the world becomes gray... That is unforgivable! I will separate Pokémon and people, and black and white will be clearly distinct! Only then will Pokémon become perfect beings! Yes, that is my dream! That is the dream I must fulfill! Touya, do you have a dream of your own?" N asked declaratively while touching the brim of his hat._

_Touya remained quiet at first. N waited patiently, knowing his hushed rival took longer with words than most. He glanced at their surroundings. Chargestone Cave usually filled him with unease, but today the magnetism stimulated and electrified N. His entire body seemed to only exist in relation to the boy beside him, and N became keenly aware of his breathing. Touya wasn't nearly as tall as N, but in that moment, Touya commanded a much larger presence than N without even trying or noticing._

_Touya looked up at N, the ghostly blue glow of the charged rocks painting his face and reflecting in his eyes. He nodded, a minute gesture N would've missed had he not been studying Touya so closely._

_N waited for more information, but Touya went back to observing the walls of the cave. The odd mechanisms of the cave seemed to affect N more than he thought; he suddenly wished to know more, to know everything, to be more exact, to pry into Touya's thick head. _

_Did Touya merely wish for success? What drove him, what made him tick? When he was lonely or discouraged, what thoughts and memories convinced him to get back up, to keep going?_

_The moment soured and passed. N kicked at a rock, acutely alert to the opportunity he'd missed. He attempted to haul Touya back in by holding up a Pokeball._

_"You have a dream... That's wonderful. I'll learn just what kind of dream you have-in battle!"_

**End Flashback**_  
><em>

N is happy for memories like this that prove he was more than just some jerk who got in Touya's way.

Better yet, he can accept that noble Touya is the hero, because in a twisted and roundabout way, part of N's goal has been accomplished.

Touya is, without a doubt, light, the sun, day, white. This makes N, his opposite, darkness, the moon, night, black.

The opposing forces swirled and clashed, but never mixed; N retained his ideals until the very end, not even a shade of gray clouding his beliefs.

Uncharacteristically, pride swells within N, and he somehow knows his defeat was meant to be.

The rising sun conquered the night, and the moon won't be returning.

N looks up to see noble Touya scrambling about to avoiding the falling ceiling, and N realizes with a jolt that he never found out what Touya's dream was.

This is suddenly very important, and N fights the urge to call out to Touya. N wishes for Touya to remember him as a stoic, powerful villain who remained defiant to his death, and such a question would appear childish. Still, regret clanks in N's stomach.

Regret. Pieces of plaster fall on him like rain, one cutting his cheek open, but he doesn't feel them.

He knows Touya like an intimate lover, having spent more time with him than anyone else, yet doesn't know arbitrary details such as his favorite color.

Again, he does not like this, but as the end draws near, it is far too late to do anything about it.

Perhaps, in another life, he and Touya will meet again.

Perhaps, they'll both be white or they'll both be black, and they'll spend their limited time together instead of on opposite sides.

N likes this thought, and allows it to caress him. N makes a mental note to ask Touya about his favorite color in future lives.

N is hit by a large ceiling chunk and winces. N wonders why his death is taking so long. He would have preferred it to happen immediately after his defeat, but collapsing castles apparently can not be rushed.

N knows his life is supposed to flash before his eyes at some point, but no luck yet.

He trains his eyes on Touya, who is halfway out the door.

Touya stops and turns around to catch once last glimpse of N. N thinks he's supposed to say something right now, but no final words come to him. Hopefully the mere memory of him will be enough for Touya.

Touya seems surprised that N has not moved, and takes a step back into the room towards N.

The floor breaks off under Touya's weight, and Touya falls wordlessly into the void below, his eyes still locked with N's eyes.

N stiffens. He cannot make sense of this.

How could the hero of a story vanish before the villain's demise?

His head is dizzy, and he stares at the place where he last saw Touya.

Nonsensical…

Irrational…

Impossible…

N decides to spend his last seconds mourning Touya, yet...

Touya died just to peek at N a final time, a fate so ridiculous N almost takes back calling Touya noble.

But then N hears wings pumping over the sound of the building caving in on itself, and Touya rises out of the void on the back on a bird Pokemon.

Noble, heroic Touya, here to save the day, directs his Pokemon straight towards N, expertly dodging falling ceiling bits.

N is shocked; this is suicidal. It's risky enough for Touya to escape, but stopping to pick N up first? N's added weight would only serve to slow the Pokemon down, Touya must know this…

N feels the floor crack underneath him, and he is falling, falling ridiculously quickly, and Touya's Pokemon is diving, diving to save N.

N is touched, as touched as a villain like him can be, but he does not want this.

Noble Touya should save himself. N has fought all his battles, and he is content, and has already prepared himself for his death, and noble Touya is ruining this.

A chunk of plaster strikes N on the head, and his thoughts begin to drift.

N sees Pokemon, the temporary partners who fought against Trainers with him. A brief hatred of battling sparks within N, but the memories slip into the games he played with various Pokemon as a child, and this soothes him.

N sees his father, and a twist forms in his stomach, though by now N is too far away to remember why.

N sees snippets of his journeys, and the reminiscences of a certain brown-haired, brown-eyed Trainer seem to glow a bit brighter than the others. The youth's name escapes N, but N knows he is important. N watches his interactions with the brown-haired adolescence contently. The boy's image grows clearer…

Suddenly, this Trainer is stretching a hand out towards N from the back of a flying Pokemon as debris and plaster crash around them. Not quite able to place this memory, N becomes confused, and then suddenly it is Touya in front of him and N does not seem to be falling anymore and he is vaguely disappointed but not sure why and they are rising quickly and dodging things raining from the sky like it is some kind of game and it sure is bright up here and…

Unable to hold on anymore, N slips into darkness.

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><p>Thank you for reading! A review would be greatly appreciated. Any errors are my own.<p>

Half of the second chapter is already written, and this story will most likely end up being three chapters long, depending on the amount of details I decide to include.


	2. N

Pairing: N x Black/Touya/Hilbert

Summary: "N is happy for memories like this that prove he was more than just some jerk who got in Touya's way." Following the decisive battle at N's castle, Touya's actions cause N to travel the world in search for him to confront their odd relationship. N x Black/Touya/ Hilbert.

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><p><em>Suddenly, this Trainer is stretching a hand out towards N from the back of a flying Pokemon as debris and plaster crash around them. Not quite able to place this memory, N becomes confused, and then suddenly it is Touya in front of him and N does not seem to be falling anymore and he is vaguely disappointed but not sure why and they are rising quickly and dodging things raining from the sky like it is some kind of game and it sure is bright up here and…<em>

_Unable to hold on anymore, N slips into darkness._

* * *

><p>N is awake now, but he's still confused, perhaps now more than ever. He lies alone in a hospital bed, and he looks at his hands, surprised to see blue veins pumping under soft, fleshy skin. He feels no pain, just tiredness, and his eyes widen when a thought occurs to him.<p>

He is alive.

Somehow.

At first, N struggles to recall the events that led up to this, vivid dreams and illusions mixing in with facts. Frustrated, N rubs his eyes, his fingers brushing against a scratch on his cheek in the process. A vision of a chunk of plaster hitting him rushes to his mind, and the rest of the memories come when called like well-trained Pokemon. N remembers losing to Touya, his castle collapsing into itself, Touya, falling, and Touya's hand grasping for his...

This forces N to connect the dots and conclude that Touya somehow saved him, a strange concept.

N frowns.

Did Touya plan to redeem the villain? N doesn't see much of a point in this, but the principles and ideals guiding his potential savior are a mystery to him. N feels indebted to Touya, which he does not like.

Touya, noble Touya, impeccable Touya…

What other man could assemble such a powerful team of adoring Pokemon?

N could communicate with Pokemon, yet Touya understood them on a level inaccessible to all others.

N easily got Pokemon to fight with him, but Touya's Pokemon fight for him, accepting nothing but victory for their Master.

N wants to discuss this difference with Touya, positive that he could shed light on the mystery, but N remembers the more pressing question.

Why did Touya risk his life to save N?

It was an insane move on Touya's part, suicidal really, and N had done nothing to even remotely suggest he wanted to be saved.

N searches for a reason, but finds nothing. He tries to think of other things, but…

_Why did Touya save N?_

N continuously returns to the question like a bad itch, and remembers…

_The floor breaks off under Touya's weight, and Touya falls wordlessly into the void below, his eyes still locked with N's eyes._

N hadn't seen it at the time, had he? The emotion hiding in the corners of Touya's eyes…Had it really existed, or was N merely glorifying the past?

He must know, he must ask Touya. Touya, Touya, Touya…

N hears doors open behind him, and an Audino appears at his side. N presses the Audino for details, but it knows nothing. N requests a visit from Touya, and the Audino seems reluctant to give N a clear answer.

Audino, however, does inform him that he was found to be innocence of all charges, which means little to N in the face of Touya's absence.

The Pokemon Professor visits him later. She is curious as to what happened in N's castle, and asks N for his account. N tells her everything she knows, and she jolts it down into a notebook, frowning.

N badgers her for information in regard to Touya, but the Professor merely informs N that Touya brought him to the hospital and vanishes shortly afterwards.

N is bored, and thoughts of Touya haunt him in his dreams and waking hours. No one tells him anything.

The hospital releases N after a few days, informing him mysteriously that his bills have already been paid. N easily guesses the identity of his guardian angel.

N has nothing, no goals, no one now, and he wanders aimlessly.

He reads in a newspaper that the new Champion hails from Nuvema Town. Although it takes a fair amount of time and resources, N hitchhikes to Nuvema Town, befriending local Pokemon on his way.

He spends his first hour in Nuvema Town wandering around. There isn't much to see, but N imagines a young Touya growing up here. N notes the town's stillness and assumes that is where Touya's quietness stems from.

N locates Professor Juniper's Laboratory and strolls in unannounced. A vaguely confused lab assistant brings N to the Professor, who looks startled upon seeing him.

Skipping all pretenses, he demands she tell him where Touya is. N is excited, and it bleeds through into his voice. N senses he is close to discovering Touya's hiding place and places his hands on Professor Juniper's desk, leaning forward.

Looking down, she quietly explains that Touya is hunting for the remaining six of the Seven Sages of Team Plasma across Unova, making communication with him impossible.

N leaves without another word. A storm is raging inside of him. He cannot believe Touya, saving N like that and just setting off on the next adventure without so much as a goodbye.

N feels worn, washed-out, all used up. He considers his position and rethinks the Professor's words.

He did play a large role in releasing Team Plasma on the world…N is no longer a child, but a man. As N learned from Touya, men do not run away, even when faced with a collapsing castle, and men do not shy from their duties, regardless of whether the reasoning behind them is as puzzling as risking your life to save an enemy.

N knows what to do now and flies into action.

Inside her laboratory, Professor Juniper looks up, and N is unexpectedly in her face again. She hides her surprise as he begins speaking, telling her of his responsibilities to help Touya find the six Sages.

She appears unconvinced until N points out that of all people, he knows them the best and would be most likely to predict the locations of the Sages and perhaps convince them to give up.

Professor Juniper does not particularly like this plan, as she does not fully trust N, but agrees that it is a good one.

Unfortunately, she cannot gave N any information about Touya's whereabouts, or even tell N if Touya has already captured a sage, as only a few select knew at this point. Professor Juniper stiffens as she explains this, giving off the impression that she finds it ridiculous that she isn't one of them.

Regardless, N thanks her, but isn't sure how to begin his quest. He asks Professor Juniper where Touya lives, figuring he has to start somewhere.

N locates the house easily and stands on the doorstep, unsure of how to proceed. He settles on knocking, and the door instantly shoots open.

A woman, Touya's mother, flings herself outside, but looks at N and stops. Her sunny expression disappears, and N knows she is disappointed that he isn't Touya.

N explains who he is and his connection to Touya, and Touya's mother invites N inside, preferring this strange link to her precious son over nothing.

She explains that she hasn't seen Touya since he began his Pokemon journey, but received a bizarre phone call from yesterday.

N nods, and she relates the story.

She received a phone call from a phone number she didn't recognize. It turned out to be Touya, and only lasted a few minutes. The connection was terrible, so she couldn't understand much of it, but she managed to glean that Touya was on a mission and didn't know when he'd be home. He had a tent set up, in which he'd be staying for a couple of days and was doing fine.

N pats her hand, unsure how the vague tidbits could aid him. She craves comfort, and N understands her pain.

People like Touya aren't easy to love…They have to grab a hold of the world to change it for themselves, running after it until it's in their reach. They leave their loved ones behind not out of cruelty, but because the adventure in their hearts prevents them from standing still.

It finally hits N that he has been left behind, but this is not a matter to be concerned with. If Touya sprints far ahead of him, N will simply have to sprint faster.

In a way, he has been given a second chance at life, and he intends to do good with it.

N thanks Touya's mother, and she smiles, instructing him to find and help her son. N promises to do so as he leaves.

…But where to start?

N knows that Touya is living somewhere in a tent and will stay there for a few days.

Great.

N is a reasonably intelligent person, but it is not much information for even the best detective to go off of. N grits his teeth, because finding the boy who saved his life shouldn't be so hard. It was too bad Touya had had bad reception…

N's eyes flash. It's a crazy idea, more of a huge leap than a stretch, but it's definitely an idea. N knows a man should think things through before darting off on a crazy course of action, but N sees no other options.

He races back to Professor Juniper, interrupting her work for the third time. She finds him impossible, and informs him of this, but he is N, on a mission, and brushes it off.

N explains his plan to her, and sees his credibility go down in her eyes. She gently points out the two hundred flaws and general instability of his plan, but N will not be talked out of it, she recognizes it in the conviction underlining his words.

Professor Juniper unwillingly lends N a flying Pokemon, warning him to come back immediately when he turns out to be mistaken in his beliefs.

N agrees, hoping beyond hope it won't come so far.

He exits the lab and calls out the Pokemon.

After giving it instructions, the Pokemon flies N to the place where N believes he will find Touya.

N closes his eyes. He's chasing a rainbow of whims, but with any luck, he'll find Touya at the end.

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><p>One chapter to go. Thoughts?<p> 


	3. Touya and N

Final chapter. Enjoy!

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><p>N returns the borrowed Pokemon to its Pokeball, thanking it for its help.<p>

Taking in the normalcy of his surroundings, N wonders if coming here will turn out to be a waste of time.

He is standing at the entrance to Chargestone Cave, guided by two scraps of information; Bronius used to offer this place up as a rendezvous point, and Touya had bad reception…Perhaps due to the magnetic forces at work within the cave?

N wonders how he managed to convince Professor Juniper to agree to lend him a Pokemon. The idea sounds sketchy at best to even N…

But N is here, and this is now, and if there is the slightest chance that Touya is inside, N will pursue it to the ends of the earth.

N enters the cave, and a Joltik and a Klink take to following him. He converses with them, explains his situation. Neither have seen Touya's tent, but they scamper off, determined to find it for N.

Despite himself, N smiles. Maybe he will invite the helpful Pokemon to accompany him on a journey…He still does not know how he will occupy himself after he finds Touya and helps round up the remaining sages…

The Klink is back now, and it is buzzing eagerly. The Joltik appears as well, and the two Pokemon bound off. N follows, their excitement contagious.

The trio twists down a winding path, and N is stumbling, tripping over rocks, but he cannot slow down.

Is he chasing a ghost or Touya?

Klink stops suddenly, and beams at N, waiting for approval. A tent sits alone in the distance, and N squints, trying to tell if the tent is occupied or simply discarded. He thanks his new friends, who have already disappeared into the blue shadows of the cave.

N is nervous, N is calm, N is terrified at the thought of what he might not find, N is calm, N is more terrified at the thought of what he might find, calm, N is anxious, N is calm. As he walks shakeningly towards the tent, N is, above all, calm. Calm N, very calm N. The former king of Team Plasma does not lose his cool, he thinks.

But now he is in front of the tent, and this is much harder to believe. His eyes trace the zipper on the door, and he considers ripping it open, but does not. N fidgets, reluctant and eager, cowardly and brave, disbelieving and hopeful. The contradictory feelings cancel each other out and amount to zero, so he stands there, waiting, when the unthinkable happens.

The tent door opens from the inside, guided by what N is sure are the forces of destiny.

N is calm.

It is dark in there, and N can just barely make out a human figure.

N is calm.

A head appears first, its details shaded by a familiar-looking hat.

N is still calm.

The head slowly tilts upwards to meet N's eyes, and Touya is staring expressionlessly at N.

Not even N can convince himself that he is calm.

Touya steps completely out of the tent, standing right in front of N. Touya does not ask N how he found Touya, or what he is doing here, or even if N is fully recovered.

The glowing blue rocks around them are as mystifying and illuminating as dreams, casting dancing shadows on the scene.

Touya shows no shock at N showing up in front of his tent so suddenly, but Touya has hid his emotions in all of their encounters so far. N wishes, not for the first time, that Touya were capable of speaking his mind.

Touya is no longer staring at N, but seems to be waiting for N to say something. N is also lost, having never been particularly good at connecting with humans one-on-one.

The silence stretches, and N senses a disconnect, wondering how the gap between them could have grow so much.

Studying Touya's profile, N realizes coming here marks the beginning of his transition from black to white…Did they only have a bond when they were black and white, clearly on opposite sides?

N has not thought of this…

He knows Touya is constantly preoccupied with his enemies, but does this leave enough room for friends? A person can only take so much…

No, N will not think of this.

He has come here, he has visited Touya's hometown, he has invested too much into everything to abandon it so easily. On autopilot, N reverts back to the question that haunted him in the hospital.

"Why did you save me?"

Distant Pokemon calls echo off the walls, but they are drowned out by the silence radiating from Touya.

As always, N waits for Touya to speak.

Time passes, but a constant remains; Touya is silent, Touya is always silent. Right now, N finds this particular trait of Touya particularly uncharming.

Eventually Touya shrugs, brushing the question off. This irritates N, who continues.

"I don't know how you managed to get us out of there, but I do remember how hopeless it seemed. I was your enemy…You could've simply left me there. I was finished and a ruined man, and you didn't even owe me anything. You could've died trying to rescue me."

Touya kicks at a pebble, and N sees that N has not yet reached Touya, not yet cracked the barrier between the Touya the world demands and the Touya N saw at the castle. N picks up again, speaking earnestly.

"Look, I woke up in that hospital, and all I knew was that you saved me. Not knowing why drove me nuts, and no one would tell me anything about you or what happened to you. They discharged me, and I found out someone else had already paid my bills. I'm pretty sure it was you, and that was even more confusing. I roamed for awhile, met some new Pokemon. I think I could've been happy, but all I could think about was you and how you had bailed me out."

N pauses, wondering if he has said too much, but compulsively finishes what he started.

"It's just…It's just been messing with my head, okay? It's like I was given a second chance at life, but I don't understand the meaning and reason behind it. I searched for it, but I couldn't find it among my thoughts or around me, because it's in you. I needed you, I needed you to tell me why, so I visited your hometown, Professor Juniper, and even your mother."

Touya's eyebrows raise, but N isn't finished. "I tracked you down, I found you here, and now you won't answer my freaking question."

The truth flickers in Touya's eyes, and it has almost reached Touya's lips when doubt gobbles it back up. Eyes widening, N sees it, this short glimpse into the misty contents of Touya's puzzling thoughts.

The truth can both create and destroy, its power equal to that of the gods.

Touya will never explain why he saved N, simply because it is not in his nature. N understands now, and knows the role given to him in this new life requires him to forgive Touya his shortcomings.

Touya does not struggle, for he cannot be contained; this is a being forever doomed to move forward, to seek out new challenges. He does not actively run away from his feelings, but fears acknowledgement of them will slow him down.

N chides himself for loving such an impossible person; he might as well try to tie himself to the wind for the consistency and attention Touya is capable of giving.

Touya appears to be thinking along the same lines. He gives N his full attention, a rare treat.

N sighs. Deciding to fulfill his other task, N tells Touya everything he knows about the Seven Sages, detailing potential locations for each remaining sage.

As Touya struggles to remember everything, N knows that in Touya's eyes, N's part in the entire fiasco has been concluded. Touya alone will continue on, and Touya alone will bring the sages to justice. This leaves N alone.

N shifts uncomfortably.

"Do you remember? We battled here once…You won, of course, but before we battled, I asked you if you had a dream of your own."

The corners of Touya's mouth lean slightly downwards.

"I told you mine, but my dream has changed since then. Now, I intend to build connections with Pokemon, similar to the ones you have with your Pokemon, and change the world one Pokemon at a time. Furthermore, there are still forces out that who mistreat Pokemon, and they must be challenged…If we combine our powers, think of what we could accomplish. You don't have to decide right this minute, of course…It shouldn't take you more than three weeks to arrest the rest of the sages with the information I've given you. I'll be here, in this exact spot, in exactly one month. We can fight together, but if you aren't there, I'll understand."

That last part was a lie, but N wants Touya to know N will never hate Touya, no matter what happens.

N turns to leave, but Touya rummages dutifully through the bag hanging on his shoulder, making N stop. Touya carefully extracts a small circular object from his bag and holds it out to N.

N puts his hand over the offered Pokeball, and is shocked to hear the whispers of Touya's starter Pokemon echoing inside the Pokeball.

This is Touya's most beloved Pokemon, and the implied promise etches itself into N's heart as his fingers close tightly around the orb.

Though the pale blue shadows, the ghost of a smile bends Touya's mouth. He darts back into his tent immediately, zipping the door up behind him.

N sees now he will always be tied to the wind.

* * *

><p>I originally intended to have the story include N and Touya meeting up in a month, but then I wrote this chapter and I really liked having it end here for some reason. I had fun with the tone of the story – it's a more reflectful than <em>Predetermined<em>, but definitely has way less action.

Now I'm having thoughts of writing their meeting and any events resulting from that meaning as a sequel, but who knows? I guess I'll wait to see how much interest this setup/story/idea/general train of thought generates and go from there.

With that being said, please let me know what you thought of the ending. Thank you for reading the story, it was fun to write. All reviews are appreciated and welcome.


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